I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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