we're chasing vodka with high fives
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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