Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
