I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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