She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
