Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
