Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
