Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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