lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
