I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
