i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
