we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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