when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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