It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize