if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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