I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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