obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
