True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
