I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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