:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
