tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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