Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
