hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
