Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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