but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
