Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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