So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Randomize
