Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
