Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
