he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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