My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
