I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
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So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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