I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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