Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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