Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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