soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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