bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
