I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
