you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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