Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
