i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All I want is dick and wine.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
