The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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