I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
