Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
