you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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