that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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