No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
