I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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