the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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