Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
