dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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