Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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