Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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