For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My bed smells like the plague
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
