You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
