This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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