i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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