There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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