i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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