dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Randomize
